- Mood: Really BLAH
- Itch Index: low
- Depression Index: med
- Weather: overcast, low 80's.
So I never did meet up with that guy at the drumming. He texted me about 10 mins after we had left, and asked where I was ! How we missed each other at such a small gathering I will never know...
SP had surgery last week, and it went fine but his shoulder was really messed up, so he's been in alot of pain; it's actually been nice having him at home relying on me though, I've enjoyed looking after him. Makes me 'do' things that I otherwise would procrastinate on. 
Last Sunday we went to an animal shelter as I wanted to be a 'foster parent' for a dog until they got a real permanent home, so there was more room for 'new' dogs to be taken at the shelters. We picked an old beagle who is partially blind and deaf, as he only needed a home for a week. I thought this would cure me of wanting a dog full time - I actually didn't think that, but was trying to kid myself that was so - but actually is HAS cured me of wanting a dog !! This dog barks and whines constantly, wont eat dog food, has diarrhea, is stubborn as hell, and expects to be walked every hour !! How he would have got on in a shelter, god knows 
He's supposed to be going back to his owner this weekend - it really put a damper on our lifestyle as we can't leave him because of the barking, and he wrecks the place - pulls the table cloth off the dining room table, with all the stuff on it, candles, salt & pepper pots (broken), papers etc. 
So I didn't go to Yoga on Monday, a couch-surfing pancake thing on Tuesday, or a friend's potluck on wednesday ! Not that I really wanted to go to any of them anyhow, and used the dog as an excuse.
Anyhoo, so I thought things would be great with a dog that i've wanted for so long. But I'm just pissed off. 
SP was hinting (maybe?) about internet and phone security saying how easy it is to hack into someone's system and nothing is really secure... so I didn't know if he was suggesting that he can see everything I do on the pc and the phone (texting), or if he was 'just' talking...? He also said today that I am living my life in fear... I KNOW that, why is he telling me? Because he knows there are things I fear telling him... and somehow he knows this? (computer spying?)
So I've felt a bit weird, moody, not wanting to socialize, avoiding people and situations.... AGAIN !! WTF is up with that?
I had got really excited the other day 
, I think it was just before the weekend, somehow I'd got onto Youtube and was looking at all the makeup and false eyelashes tutorials... I can't even remember how I got there, but I was addicted for a couple of days, and even went out and bought new makeup and lashes and tried out a few looks !
But suddenly now I am bored again, not happy with a dog, not wanting to go to parties with new people around, not being interested in my new reflexology client... dreading when she comes round, not wanting to go to physical therapy to get my shoulder better... I don't know what's going on. 
I got sleeping pills from my new doctor - he seems really nice, and listens to me... they didn't' work all that well though, even though they are my favourites, Restoril. In fact I haven't slept well since SP had his surgery, he awakes often and in pain and I have to load up his cryotherapy ice-machine for his shoulder as he can't carry anything - which I don't mind, but it doesn't make for a good night's sleep. I've been getting up early too (well, about 9am - early for me!) as he needs me to do stuff.
We haven't had sex for 9 days, which I guess isn't unusual after surgery, his pain is distracting for him, and he can't do a whole lot with only one arm, and I'm not horny or anything, just that it had crossed my mind why he hadn't asked...
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